Beginnings… and Endings

Posted on January 2, 2022 by Mokihana

2021 was a really hard year for me. I lost my special pōpoki, Noelani, in January, and I’ve lost three very close friends since August, and their deaths have hit me hard. You’d think, since in the past I’ve been a prolific journaler, that words would fly out of my mind like the wind that’s gusting here now. Instead, I’ve been numb. And depressed. I know, thanks to Megan Divine at Refuge in Grief, that this is a common reaction for grieving people. Maybe I’m afraid of all the intense feelings that will come up, though I’ve gone through lots of intense feelings before. I got Megan’s wonderful grief journal, “How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed”, had it spiral bound so that I could write easier in it, and haven’t even been able to do that. I’ve read several pages and can tell that it’s an amazing way to process grief. My goal this year is to work through it. And if you are dealing with grief, I highly recommend Megan’s website. In the meantime, and during that process, I’m intending to write on my blog again. I think that can be a healing thing, too.

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Goldfinches. Many, many, Goldfinches

Posted on September 29, 2021 by Mokihana

My daughter, Leilani, has tons of Goldfinches in there place. I’ve had none. Zero. Well, I saw one brightly colored male one this spring, but he went elsewhere. Leilani suggested that we switch to hulled sunflower seed to see if that would increase our Goldfinch population. So we did. And now my motto is, if you do that, they will come. Not only will a few of them come, but they will bring their entire ʻohana, calabash cousins, and anybody else that they happen to see.

Goldfinches are now eating us out of house and home. The seed is really expensive, and the inside hulls are messy. But having all these guys around is helping to brighten up my days, so to me, it’s worth it. Even though I have two feeders with the seeds up, the birdies fight and argue over who’s going to get to them first. There’s a lot of action at the feeders. There are so many Goldfinches that they can empty a tube feeder in about a day and a half. We can’t afford to keep filling yet another feeder, so the sweet birdies are going to have to keep trying to settle it among themselves. It seems like every day brings more of them. Am I sorry I started this? Nope. Not at all.

(If you turn the sound way up, you can hear them arguing about who gets to kapu the perches on the feeder.)

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Silence

Posted on September 27, 2021 by Mokihana

It’s been since June 6th that I’ve posted. I used to be so prolific with my posts, yet I’ve let more than three months go by without a word. I think it’s because the world just got to be too much for me, and it’s been a struggle to keep my head above water. During this time I’ve lost three friends; and during the past few years I’ve lost four more, along with my favorite uncle (none to Covid, though). I lost my sweet kitty, Noelani. I haven’t even been journaling, which is really unusual for me. When I add all the pandemic stuff to that, it’s been pretty overwhelming. Some days I feel like I just want to go back to bed and curl up all day long. But I don’t. I go to the gym, I meet outside with my Gathering sisters, I do household chores, and I take lots of photos. I keep in touch with friends and family, and I love watching all the birds that come to the feeders outside my office window. But depression follows my footsteps.

My life kinda feels like this, though. One more thing I gotta deal with.

I think that getting back to blogging will help. So here I am. Imua.

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From Full to Empty, Yet Still Full

Posted on June 6, 2021 by Mokihana

Last March 2020, when Covid took hold in a really serious way, our Realtors, Chris Olson and Jill Roland, asked if I’d like to volunteer to distribute food boxes with the Farm to Families program. This program was designed by the government to buy food from farmers and then to pass it on to needy families during the worst of the pandemic, helping both farmers and families. We were all still in the shock phase of Covid, staying at home, and feeling more than a bit anxious and isolated, I immediately said yes, because I’ve found over and over that when I’m feeling that way, the best thing for me to do is to reach out to others. And since I have a van, it seemed to be a good alternative to staying home and feeling hamajang.

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Memorial Day 2021

Posted on May 31, 2021 by Mokihana

My first boyfriend was a happy local boy, and we went to the same high school in Honolulu. He loved fast cars, smoked, and gave me a gorgeous double pink carnation lei for the prom we went to. I remember the white dinner jacket that he wore, and that my mom took photos of us all glammed up for the big night. We had many good times together. I thought he was wonderful and was more than a bit surprised that he was interested in me. He was a good sport and took me to another dance even though I’d just seriously injured my knee playing tackle football (!) and couldn’t do much dancing.

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Montana Road Trip 2010, Chapter Fifty

Posted on May 30, 2021 by Mokihana

Believe it or not, I won’t leave us almost home but not quite. We’ve left Kennewick and the Blue Bridge, and now are continuing to head south on Hwy 395, then on to Highway 82 towards Umatilla.

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Gettin’ Outa Dodge, Chapter 4 and Pau

Posted on May 27, 2021 by Mokihana

Here we are on the onramp to Interstate 84, about to head makai towards home, with the Columbia River right next to us.

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Gettin’ Outa Dodge, Chapter Chree

Posted on May 24, 2021 by Mokihana

It was a lovely day at Rowena Crest, the sun was shining bright, and it was good to be able to get out of the car and walk around. But ho, da wind! Which really isn’t unusual in the Gorge, but this makani was unusual in that it was blowing from makai (west) instead of mauka like it usually does. It was a warm wind, but still pretty strong.

We could see Mt Adams across the river. Well, okay, its top.

Mt Adams
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Gettin’ Outa Dodge For a Day – Chapter Two

Posted on May 22, 2021 by Mokihana

We got up to Rowena Crest… ho da cars!!!

Rowena Crest
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The Price of Procrastination

Posted on May 18, 2021 by Mokihana

I switched over to Gmail in 2008, and last week I got a notice from them saying that I was running outa email space. Hah? U mean I no get unlimited space? Ack! K’den, time foa do some deleting, right? And yeah, I admit it…I’m not really great about keeping my inbox cleaned out. I get busy, and don’t put emails I want to keep in their proper folders (of which I get plenny). These aren’t emails that I’ve instigated…they’re either replies to me or people contacting me for one reason or another.

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