I see my life as being on a journey. I’m not so much about the destination as I am about the journey. I don’t want to ever just arrive; I think if I ever arrive I might be mahkediedead. Now obviously, if my destination was my mom’s hale [house] down in California, then ultimately I want to get there. But I don’t want to miss what ke Akua [God] might show me along the way. He has a way of surprising me a lot of times. Like seeing all the crape myrtles in Red Bluff. Or the koi pond. Or maybe even the puka tree as I holoholo ka‘a down my gravel road.
I see myself as a pilgrim. Sometimes I don’t like what I see (or can’t see) up ahead, but I will keep going. It can be a very difficult process much of the time. Like now. I don’t want to be pau grieving tomorrow. I want to be aware of the process, to be open to what ke Akua will teach me as I holoholo [walk] along. Is it fun? Heck no. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But don’t give me the instant destination please. Let me be aware of what You want to teach me.