Da firss part of da story stay hea.

Tuesday morning I stay so upset! I wen call AAA foa come jumpstart da car so I can take um into da shop. Sposed to be hea 9:30. 9:40. Not hea. I call. Dey swamped dis morning. Da truck wen get re-routed. “Eh, dat means u wen take somebody who wen call aftah me?” Nope. But da dispatchah dunno exactly why dey no stay coming.

Dey going be hea by 10:15. Dat’s okay, cuz Julie can still gimme ride home from da shop. 10:15: Not hea. I call again. Dey so so swamped, so sorry, day afta holiday. Dey be dea in 20-30 minutes. Okay. 11:00. Not hea. I call again. Dey right down da street, be dea in a few minutes. Okay.

11:15. Da tow truck driva calls. Sorry, we cannot come up yoa driveway cuz da tree limbs (stay wet and drooping from da hard rain lass nite) going scratch da new paint on his brand-new tow truck.

Me: But I’ve had tow trucks up hea befoa foa start batteries. I wen ask foa one small kine truck in da first place.

Him: Well, adunno about dat but I not going let my truck go up dat hill. If you get da car down to da bottom, den I can jump start yoa car. [actually he no talk pidgin but I stay and dat’s how I talk when I stay all hamajang lidat].

Me: Ummm… I get mahkediedead battery, brah. How I going get da car down dea?

Him: Dunno. All I know is, I’m not going up da hill. I’m not going let da limbs scratch my new paint. Sorry.

I wen come in da hale and wen rant on da Lanai. All my friends dea so supportive.

So den I had foa call Nolemana in from doing one appraisal foa come jump start me, interrupting his day, now he gotta go alla way back out and gas prices high and da comps like 30 minutes away and rant rant rant rant.

I shoulda jass had him jumpstart me in da first place!! Confunnit!

I wen call AAA foa complain. Now get dis. Dey wen tell me dat da first tow truck driva wen tellum:

Her driveway too narrow foa get up
Get so many tree branches and dey going scratch my paint, take out my mirrors AND my light rack

Had ONE small kine flowering plum twig in da way. No way can scratch his precious paint job. Julie wen bring me home and da bugga (now pruned) wen smoothly go ova her windshield.

Oh, and u like hea sometin funny? K’den, da second drivah drives up in da smallest tow truck at 12:30. He gets out. “So what seems to be the problem?” he asks.

I go tellum, “My battery stay mahkediedead, brah, and .. oh wait..I wen use good kine English… my battery is dead and I think my alternator is bad.”

Him: I’ve got a way with these things.. just give me the keys and I’ll get it started [“little lady who knows absolutely nothing about cars” was da implication].

I go let him Make A. I casually hand him da keys, knowing exactly wat going happen.

He strides ova to my car; inserts da key. Guess wat? Da car no start. Duh.

I keep my mout’ shut.

Da AAA kane wen tell me dat is da alternata AND da battery. He wen get out his cables. Dey stay in one tangled mess! Ho, he stay so hūhū dat somebody wen use his truck and no put back da cables neatly. “That’s the last time anybody else uses my truck!!”

He got da car to start wit dis super-charged da kines, put on every singo one of da accessories… da car kept running… even wit brights, radio. a/c, blinkers, etc. So we wen chance it. I was driving and da drivah wen tell me he would follow me to da repair place. Good ting. Cuz even wit my foot on da accelerata, da car wen mahkediedead and he wen tow um in. Dunno about da battery yet, but Cleveland Auto going checkum out.

And ho, da ride into da auto repair shop! OMG!! When da kane wen get out his towing da kines, I wen think, “Oh no!! I gotta get in dis too-high truck wit dis hūhū drivah! And how I even going get ‘way up dea in da firss place!” I wen call Julie, debating if I should jass wait dea on da road. I must admit to being pretty upset at dat point. But we wen agree she going pick me up at da shop.

Da kane get one step stool and I wen climb insai da truck.

Now, da speed limit on Hogan Road stay 45 mph. But dis kane stay going 55 mph. No seat belt. I was thinking, “Get me outa hea!!” We wen come to one light; he wen slow down small kine jass as one driva coming from da opposite direction wen make one left turn right in front of us! He wen slam on da brakes, anden dis makule wahine wen almost do da same ting! Auwe!! We wen get chru da light and da drivah wen growl, “I HATE people!!”

I wen make myself small ova on my side of da seat an no say nuttin’.

Finally, we wen get to da shop. Julie and her madda wen pick me up dea. I stay so relieved to be wit normal peeps again! Julie’s madda wen ask me, “Are you having a meltdown?” “To da max!” I wen tell her.

Den dey wen take me foa get some coffee at Hawaiian Beanz. I wen tell her I was going treat dem to coffee since dey wen come pick me up. But Julie wen tell me, “Nah, we going treat you cuz u so frazzled. I wen tell Mike, da owner, dat HB stay my favorite, numbah one place foa decompress afta one frazzling morning. And frazzled I was! My hair all hamajang falling in my eyes frazzled. Mike wen tell me, “I going GIVE Mokihana one latte…if dis her numba one place foa decompress, den dis wat I like do.”

So da chree of us wen sit and talk stories foa 30 minutes; friendship and one latte, caring and aloha, both dea and on da Lanai.