Dear Wahine Who Hit Nolemana’s Kawila

Dear wahine who hit Nolemana two weeks ago. Yes, it’s me again. (And my name’s not Margaret, by the way.. apologies to Ray Stevens.) No! Do not throw away this letter! I am watching you. Open it! You know, back home in Hawai’i as kids we’d call it “getting da slippah” when we’d do something bad and our moms would whip off one slippah (on the mainland you call them flip-flops) and whack us with it as punishment. Our moms could move really, really fast! So before I do geev u da slippah, open da damn letter!

The Letter:

What give you the right to say Nolemana hit you? You got a lot of nerve, lady! Shall we apply a bit of logic here? The back door and rear bumper of his car has an obvious impact point. Your car has front end damage. He had a green light. You had a red light. You turned onto the highway against said red light. Now logically, unless my hubby was driving down the highway sideways (and would that be a feat!) how could he possibly manage to hit you? You told the insurance agents that he sideswiped you… hmmm.. let’s see now.. how come there’s an obvious impact point, i.e., a nice big dent in the rear door, where you hit him?

May I remind you that at the scene of the accident you said to him,

”I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you! I just don’t know how I didn’t see you!”

Did you forget that?

Were you talking on your cell phone when you hit him?

Because of you, we had to take money out of our pockets to pay for the rental car. Because of you, our claim is delayed for a week while the claims agents figure out who’s lying. Hmmm…. wonder who that could be?

Thank you for reading this letter. Now be a good girl and ‘fess up. I’m tired of waiting.

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This entry was posted in Da Kine: Sometimes Full-on Pidgin, Open Letters. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Dear Wahine Who Hit Nolemana’s Kawila

  1. AFK says:

    Moki-chan, a lady driving her father’s new car (with her mother in the passenger seat) hit my parents and me in my parents’ rental car when M&D were visiting a couple of months ago. Granted, both drivers were in unfamiliar territory, but the other lady blamed my dad (who was driving). At first, we didn’t know who was really at fault, but as the state trooper was figuring out who was where and at what point, I noticed a few things that indicated my dad was the one in the right. One of these indicators was where the dents were in the cars relative to each other. The trooper came to the same conclusion and cited the other driver for the accident. Her mother was crying uncontrollably and said some terrible things to my dad. But dad was right. You guys will be vindicated in the end. It’s just sad that some people will absolutely not take responsibility for their actions.

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