Dear wahine who hit Nolemana two weeks ago. Yes, it’s me again. (And my name’s not Margaret, by the way.. apologies to Ray Stevens.) No! Do not throw away this letter! I am watching you. Open it! You know, back home in Hawai’i as kids we’d call it “getting da slippah” when we’d do something bad and our moms would whip off one slippah (on the mainland you call them flip-flops) and whack us with it as punishment. Our moms could move really, really fast! So before I do geev u da slippah, open da damn letter!
What give you the right to say Nolemana hit you? You got a lot of nerve, lady! Shall we apply a bit of logic here? The back door and rear bumper of his car has an obvious impact point. Your car has front end damage. He had a green light. You had a red light. You turned onto the highway against said red light. Now logically, unless my hubby was driving down the highway sideways (and would that be a feat!) how could he possibly manage to hit you? You told the insurance agents that he sideswiped you… hmmm.. let’s see now.. how come there’s an obvious impact point, i.e., a nice big dent in the rear door, where you hit him?
May I remind you that at the scene of the accident you said to him,
”I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you! I just don’t know how I didn’t see you!”
Did you forget that?
Were you talking on your cell phone when you hit him?
Because of you, we had to take money out of our pockets to pay for the rental car. Because of you, our claim is delayed for a week while the claims agents figure out who’s lying. Hmmm…. wonder who that could be?
Thank you for reading this letter. Now be a good girl and ‘fess up. I’m tired of waiting.