This is the first time ever that you have not called to wish me a happy birthday. I realize that we had our ups and downs, but I also know that you’ve done some really wonderful things for us and that we had some really good times together.
But despite everything, I have been in tears for the last two days because this is the first time I won’t hear you singing the entire happy birthday song to me first thing in the morning. I am sitting here at my computer with tears rolling down my cheeks because the day just doesn’t seem right without hearing from you. I feel kinda lost, actually. It doesn’t help that I never got to say goodbye to you before you died.
Sometimes I even wish I’d recorded your last year’s birthday phone call so that I could have played it today and in the future.
Despite everything, I miss you, mom. Especially today.