The relationship between my mom and me isn’t the best… she can have a real critical spirit, and is pretty judgmental even now. We talk, but only about superficial stuffs but not about the real deep issues of life.
All the gifts I ever made for her ended up either forgotten in drawers, or in the back porch under piles of junk. I beaded her some earrings; she never wore them until I said to her, “Eh Mom, if you don’t like them, let me take them back an get something for you that you really like”. But no, she wanted to just keep them on display, I guess.
She is old now… and just before Mother’s Day this year, ke Akua told me He wanted me to knit her a shawl. “What?” I aske Him. “You’re kidding, right?” I thought I was making it up… you know, guilty daughter, all lidat. But no, He insisted. “Knit her a shawl, and pray for her while you knit it”.
“But God”, I said, “You know what’s going to happen. The shawl will just sit in a drawer, or stuck in the back bedroom someplace. She’s not going to wear it”. (I am so lolo, yeah? Imagine arguing with ke Akua!)
“You just obey me”, He told me. “That’s all I ask. Don’t expect anything. If it ends up in a drawer, that’s how it goes. The main thing is the message to your mother: that you would spend all this time doing this for her. That you care enough to do it for her, no matter what she’s going to do with it. This is what aloha is about. Aloha is what I want you to give to your mother”. Of course I wondered if ke Akua ever talks in pidgin, but dat’s how I heard Him. Adunno…. what do you think? That maybe He does talk in pidgin? Of course He talks lidat!
So I looked and looked, and finally found a pattern that I thought my mother would like. I bought some of the finest mohair available, from a yarn store in Canada, in some colors that would look nani on my mother and would match all of the clothes that she wears.
And I started to knit, praying for my mother while I did. This is how the shawl started; the pukas going up the side are part of the pattern.
About a week later, here is what the shawl looked like, halfway pau:
And here’s a close-up of the turning corner:
Here is a photo of the shawl when it was all pau. I was real pleased with the way it came out, and I thought, “If she likes it, that’s good. If not, that’s good too… because I did what I was supposed to do, an prayed for her the whole time I was knitting it.
I sent it down for Mother’s Day. She said she liked it. I don’t know yet how this story will end. But I know this: if the shawl goes in the back of the closet, or a drawer, if my mom never wears it, it is still okay. I obeyed ke Akua, who knows much more than me, who can see the big picture, who knows that maybe this shawl is going be the only language that my mom can understand right now.
If can, can. If no can, no can. But I stay pono with ke Akua, and that’s what matters to me the most.
HE does too talk pidgin. LOL
Love da kalas of da shawl by da way. If her said her liked it den az one good sign, she’s lighten up. Some people no can even do dat.
Oh Yeah…. I know He talks pidgin. Mattah of fack, I get da pidgin New Testament an jass love it. Sometimes dat’s da oni way da words can come clear…
I can’t speak or write pidgin and won’t even try, but I know it doesn’t matter because I simply wanted to say how proud I am of my mother. I remember many conversations I have had with her as she was making this shawl and I know how hard it was at times because she didn’t know what was going to happen. (mom, you need to add a comment about what has happened since!). But I just had to write how much I respect her for listening to the Lord and showing His love when she knew it might not be returned. Mom, I love you and think you are one of the most courageous women I have ever known. Your daughter, Lisa
Oh wow Moki, i can see dat yowah daughter is very close to u. Dat is good. We talked about Mother Daughter relationship remembah? An wit u an yours it is good. Be thankful for that but then i no u are. Good to hear u on da bloogin’ agin’. I kept coming back an lookin’ but u no wuz deah yet. Main ting is u did wot he wen ask sopau alreadi. Hugs sistah.
I followed your link from Rav and i wanted to say that the shawl is beautiful and that i am sorry your mother is no longer with you.
Oh my goodness. I am so deeply touched by this story. The shawl reminded me of a beautiful rainbow…love and light radiating from it. Thank you for this beautiful display of UNCONDITIONAL love.