In our side yard, up Mānoa Valley, get plenny kakaroaches. Anybody who wen live in Hawai‘i know how bad dem buggahs stay. At night, all u gotta do is open da light an ho, alla kakaroaches run scurrying for da dark places. In da cupboards, in da cracks in da floor, in closets, everyweah! Dey so ugalee an from small kid time I stay sked of dem.
Dis one time, dey wen get so bad dat my mom an dad wen decide to get some kine kakaroach killer company for come out an spray alla yards for try kill da kakaroaches. By da time dey wen decide for do dis, da kakaroaches was so bad dat no mattah how clean da hale, get plenny of dem ugalee buggahs all ovah da place.
I wuz insai da hale, an da kakaroach assassins wuz doing deah job, killing dem buggahs all ovah da place. Dey had been working about one hour or so. Den I wen go to da kitchen for try check out wat was going on, cuz I could see da yard from deah. I hated dem kakaroaches, lemme tell u. Dey gimme da creeps! So I like see dem buggahs all mahke die dead.
I wen stand at da door of da kitchen, but nevah wen pay attenshun to da fact dat da electric cord stay coming insai da hale where was plugged into da wall. Was far away from da yard anyways. But den, my worst nightmare wen come true! Auwe!
Dis one B-52 kamikaze kakaroach wen come flyin’ insai da hale, chru dat pikanini puka in da door, an wen fly down da back of my shirt! I wen let out one scream dat could be heard alla way to Waikīkī!
Auwe, dat buggah stay crawling all ovah my back an I no could shake him out! I stay hopping up an down, screaming da whole time, shaking my shirt, but dat buggah just kept crawling around insai! Finally, just wen I thought I was going mahke, dat ting wen drop out onto da floor. But I stay barefoot an no like step on it foa kill um … so I just wen leave dat room as if get wings on my feets! I wen insai my room an close da door, an never wen come out for a long time, till my folks wen tell me alla kakaroaches stay mahke die dead. I tink my papa-san wen stomp dat buggah dat wen fly down my shirt. Wuz terrible day, an even now, I get creepy crawlies jus tinkin about dat awful day.
Eewwl I hate dat. Juss oogie oogie feelings dose tings crawling on yo’skin.
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I neva like em’ eiddah back den but wuz jus’ deah. Kinda like we always wen check da showah in case had wun scorpion insai da showah flooah. Owah da centapides in da Japanease grass an den buggahs wuz huge. Ah yah, da ole Hawaii. Now deh git dese Gecko lizards dat i no remembah evah seein’ small keed time. Wot happened? SOmbodi wen bring dem in too?
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