Wen I wuz twelve, my madda wen let me staht babysit foa da neighbas’ keiki. Da one ‘ohana wen call me da most wen stay up around da loop from wea I wen live. Dey get 5 keiki, from one yea old to about 10. Da makuahine, ho, she no like clean da hale, wuz alla time all mess up. So wen I wen ovah dea, I wen clean da kitchen foa her cuz I wen feel bad she get so many keiki an so much hana foa her to do. Wen I stay pau wit dat den I watch TV till dey get home.

Da time of dis story, da makuahine wen call me foa babysit. Dat day dey wen hele to da beach an all da keiki wuz full of sand lidat. So I wen geev dem all baths, read ’em story, anden dey wen moemoe. Den I wen clean up da kitchen like always, but I neva wen clean up all da stuffs dey wen bring home from da beach dat stay all ova da floor. By dis time wuz late, about 10 p.m. so I wen watch TV. Cuz I stay plenny lolo, I always like foa watch da “Creecha Feechas” dat wen come on late Friday nites.

Dea I wuz, all alone in da hale except foa da keiki, all dem moemoe, and me watchin one scary, scary, movie. How lolo can u get? Ho, da movie wen staht getting plenny scary, and wuz almos midnight. Dis hale no stay too fah from da old Chinese Cemetery up Mānoa Valley side, an I stay getting’ plenny sked. But I no stop watch da movie cuz I stay so lolo.

Suddenly, I wen hea dis scratchin noise from somewea insai da hale! Ho, da chicken skin wen staht on my arms. I wen check all ova da place but no could spock nottin, so I tink, “Ho, Mokihana, u lolo, nomo nuttin. U jass one baby!”

So I wen watch da movie again. By dis time it was getting even moa scary. Suddenly I wen hea da scratchin again, but no could spock nuttin, but I stay so sked I no can move. Da chicken skin was now all ova me. I no could even get up foa turn off da TV I stay so sked! So I stay sked from da TV and sked from da scratchin sound.

I wen try tell myself I just makin up all da kine, cuz I stay watchin da scary TV movie, but da scratchin no stop. I tink, “Is dis one obake from da cemetery?” I wuz goin call one of my friends, but wuz so late lidat, no could. So I just wen sit dea, sked like crazy. Da outsai tempachah wuz warm, but I wuz so cold from all da chicken skin all ova me.

Den, da worse ting, da scratchin wen staht foa come right up da back of da couch! I could hea it getting moa close, comin up right behind my back! And on da TV, all da screamin from dis one wahine so sked from da creecha dat is tryin foa get her! Closa an closa wen come da scratchin. Closah an closah came da creecha on da TV. Poor Mokihana stay so sked she almost wen shi shi her panties right dea!

Right wen da scratchin wen come up to da top of da couch! Slow kine, side eye, I wen look behind me, an suddenly wen see dat I stay lookin right into da maka of dis big crab! Ho, I almost wen hit da ceiling! I wen look at da floor, an all across it wuz moa crabs comin in my direction! Da buggahs wen come from insai da pepa sack on da floor dat da da keeds wen bring back from da beach dat da makuahine neva wen clean up.

To dis day, I no can rememba wat I wen do den. I like to tink I stay so relieved dat I wen pick up all da crabs anden put dem back insai da sack wit da sand. But one ting foa shua, from den on, wenevah I stay babysit at dat hale, I always wen axe da makuahine eef dey wen hele to da beach dat day!