It’s been since June 6th that I’ve posted. I used to be so prolific with my posts, yet I’ve let more than three months go by without a word. I think it’s because the world just got to be too much for me, and it’s been a struggle to keep my head above water. During this time I’ve lost three friends; and during the past few years I’ve lost four more, along with my favorite uncle (none to Covid, though). I lost my sweet kitty, Noelani. I haven’t even been journaling, which is really unusual for me. When I add all the pandemic stuff to that, it’s been pretty overwhelming. Some days I feel like I just want to go back to bed and curl up all day long. But I don’t. I go to the gym, I meet outside with my Gathering sisters, I do household chores, and I take lots of photos. I keep in touch with friends and family, and I love watching all the birds that come to the feeders outside my office window. But depression follows my footsteps.

My life kinda feels like this, though. One more thing I gotta deal with.

I think that getting back to blogging will help. So here I am. Imua.

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10 Responses to Silence

  1. Lady Tie Di says:

    Hey, Sistah, I feel ya! Glad to see you post again.
    So very sorry for your losses….there has been a lot to grieve for but good for you for getting to the gym and not forgetting to appreciate the beauty of the world, the birds… and love your metaphorical picture hahahaha. Hugs oxoxooxo

  2. I understand the burdens (even if they vary somewhat between us – arrested development in a 19-year-old, anyone?), depression, and desire to escape. Blogging helps me, and blog pals are a blessing. Keep putting one foot in front of the other like you are doing; God will get us through this!

    • Mokihana says:

      Thank you, Michelle. I know your path hasn’t been easy either. God will get us through this, along with friends who care. Thank you for encouraging me to keep posting.

  3. maryinnz says:

    It’s such a tough time – even here in New Zealand, where we’ve had it relatively easy, people are tired and struggling in all sorts of ways. I’m so sorry for your losses. But it’s lovely to read even a short post from you, and I really hope you will find comfort in getting back to your wonderful blog.

  4. lisaknit says:

    You are not alone in this.

  5. I hear you. I find I have blogged less as I feel like I have fewer things to write about: I’m not going anywhere (I live in a COVID hotspot, and while I’m vaccinated, I’m concerned about breakthrough infections) and work is eating my life because there is more expected of us right now.

    I hope I can be interesting again and have things to say. I keep writing but I don’t blame anyone for not reading, I know I’m not very interesting right now

    • Mokihana says:

      I so appreciate your comment… I’m going to head over to your blog. I bet it’s more interesting than you think, but I totally get your feelings.

  6. AFK says:

    Moki-chan, I’m sorry about your losses. I get it. I’m feeling it too. It can be soooooo hard to do things that we know will make us feel better. But good for you–exercise and socializing can go a long way toward helping yourself and others. Sending lots of hugs and positive energy to you.

    • Mokihana says:

      Mahalo nui, my friend. I so appreciate the hugs and positive energy. I hope we can get together in person again someday….

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