Funny, Funny, Mother: A Christmas Tale

I got this wonderful story from my friend Linda Smith, who has read it to us at The Gathering every year about this time. I added the graphics for this post.

See Mother. See Mother laugh. Mother is happy.
Mother is happy about Christmas.

Mother has many plans.
Mother has many plans for Christmas
Mother is organized.
Mother smiles all the time.

Funny, funny, Mother.

See Mother. See Mother smile. Mother is happy.
The shopping is done.
See the children watch television.
Watch, children, watch.

See the children change their minds.
See them ask Santa for different toys.
Look, look.
Mother is not smiling.
Funny, funny, Mother.

See Mother. See Mother sew.
Mother will make dresses.
Mother will make robes.
Mother will make shirts.

See Mother put the zipper in wrong.
See Mother sew the dress on the wrong side.
See Mother cut the skirt too short.
See Mother put the material away until January.

Look, look.
See Mother take a tranquilizer.
Funny, funny, Mother.

See Mother. See Mother buy raisins and nuts. See Mother buy candied pineapple and powdered sugar. See Mother buy flour and dates and pecans and brown sugar and bananas and spices and vanilla.

Look, look.
Mother is mixing everything together.

See the children press out cookies.
See the flour on their elbows.
See the cake fall.
See the children pull taffy.
See Mother pull her hair.
See Mother clean the kitchen with a garden hose.

Funny, funny, Mother.

See Mother. See Mother wrap presents. See Mother look for the scissors. See Mother look for the end of the scotch tape roll.

See Mother bite her fingernails.

See Mother go.
See Mother go to the store twelve times in one day.

Go, Mother, go.
See Mother go faster.
Run, Mother, run.

See Mother trim the tree.
See Mother have a Party.
See Mother make popcorn.
See Mother wash walls.
See Mother scrub the rug. See Mother tear up the organized plan.

See Mother forget a gift for Uncle Harold.
See Mother get hives.
Go, Mother, go.

See the far away look in Mother’s eyes.
See Mother become disorganized.
Mother has become disoriented.
Funny, funny, Mother.

It is finally Christmas morning.
See the happy family.
See Father smile. Father is happy. Smile, Father, smile.

Father loves fruit cake.
Father loves Christmas pudding.
Father loves all his new neckties.

Look, look.
See the happy children.
See the children’s toys. Santa was very good to the children. The children will remember this Christmas.

See Mother.
Mother is slumped in a chair.
Mother is crying uncontrollably.
Mother does not look well.
Mother has ugly, dark circles under her bloodshot eyes.

See everyone help Mother to bed.
See Mother sleep under heavy sedation.
See Mother smile.

Funny, funny, Mother.

Author unknown

This entry was posted in Da Kine: Sometimes Full-on Pidgin. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Funny, Funny, Mother: A Christmas Tale

  1. Ardy says:

    Moki, This is SOOOOOO funny!

  2. Deedee says:

    Hilarious. You did a fabulous job!

    Merry Merry Christmas

  3. I LOVE your choice of graphics, they were perfect!!

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