A couple of nights ago, just as Nolemana and I were going moe [sleep], my toe caught on something on the bottom sheet. I heard an ominous, albeit slight, noise. More like, “Uh oh”. But it was really late, and I was tired, so I ignored it and went to sleep.

Then I forgot about it.

The next night, I heard the noise again. It sounded like the sheet was ripping. I cautiously poked my toe around, and sure enough, the sheet was torn. Small kine, but still torn. We didn’t want to have to re-make the bed at midnight… and of course, it didn’t help that we had no more sheets that would fit our relatively new mattress that was much higher than the one we used to have.

I checked Overstock.com, but I really don’t like buying sheets without being able to feel them. I am a very tactile person, and need to feel what I’m gonna be lying on for ukubillion hours of my life.

So last night, with the puka [hole] getting bigger by the night, Nolemana and I stopped in at Tuesday Morning.. And not that I’m a brand name junkie, ‘cuz I’m not, I knew they had Tommy Bahama sheets on sale this week. I really don’t know much about Tommy Bahama; we are not on speaking terms. In fact, the only thing I know about him is that his designs are tropical.

I am an island girl. I like LOVE tropical! I walked over to the display and promptly fell in love with some blue-gray sheets, 550 thread count, with, gasp! a hibiscus design. I opened up the bag (it’s okay, it’s legal) and felt the sheets. They were sateen, and felt fabulous. I showed them to Nolemana. I was so excited! I’ve never had hibiscus sheets before, and they would perfectly match the Hawaiian quilt on our bed.

I started to put them in the cart and then decided I should probably check the price. Oh. My. Gosh. $229.00! You gotta be kidding me! For a set of sheets and two pillowcases? What do they do? Make the bed themselves? Do their own laundry? Give us a massage while we’re sleeping?

Then I saw the “Original Price”. $750.00! Now I’m not accusing Tuesday Morning of anything at all, but do people for real pay that much for a set of sheets? I don’t mean movie stars or basketball players. I mean regular kine peeps like me. Well, obviously not like me. People like me can’t afford sheets lidat!

I put back the sheets, sorely disappointed. They really were lovely, and their siren song called to me as I walked sadly away. (Don’t tell Nolemana, but I did go back a couple of times just to say “aloha ‘oe to them and touch them again.)

We ended up getting plain cotton sheets with a nice thread count and corner pockets deep enough to handle our mattress. And it was okay.

As we wandered through the rest of the store trying to find a birthday present, I saw an end row with four fairly large boxes filled to the brim with… not Tommy Bahama sheets, but yarn!! Yes, yarn!!!

Trying not to salivate all over it before I’d even taken a good look at all the skeins, I began pawing through each box, one at a time. I found some luscious stuff, a deep, royal purple of merino, alpaca and silk!! Nolemana became my accessory treasure hunter, helping me to go through each box trying to find each and every skein of that colorway. We came up with four, and about 100 yards each, that was just great. They were all half price!

It’s made in Peru, and is extremely soft to the touch. I wish the sticker wasn’t right ontop the label, though. Here’s the fiber content:

The next day, I thought about all the rest of the yarn just sitting there, and decided to go back to Tuesday Morning just to see if all the rest of the skeins were lonely. Heh heh. It’s amazing what a wahine [woman] can do when her hubby isn’t right there!

Honest, I only wanted to check on the yarn. How was I to know that there were a bunch of skeins that started crying, begging me to take them home? How could I have predicted that one of the colorways had several skeins in the same dye lot? And how could I possible have said no to the skeins of merino, silk and cashmere? It really wasn’t my fault that they all ended up in my arms!

This is bulkier than the purple, but oh, so soft!

What a mess! Yarn was leaping out of the boxes, trying to get into my hands, my arms, my pockets! Some missed and landed on the floor. Fortunately, I managed to get a lot of yarn in the same colorway.

This is a really nice blue-gray in Merino, Alpaca and Silk like the purple.

And there were several skeins of this light lavender:

Only two skeins of the pink, but it’s enough.

And check out the fiber content!

Not yarn, but wonderful tropical napkins!

I couldn’t get it all. I didn’t even want it all! Even at half price, it would’ve been a sizeable investment, and some of the yarn I didn’t even like!

However, I managed to get home with a small bag of yarn. I assured the skeins that were left behind that I was quite sure that someone else would come along and take them home, too.

All in all, not a bad day for S.E.X.

No, no, not dat kine!! So naughty u!

Stash Enhancement Expedition, silly.