So dea I was, getting ready foa back up all my Outlook folders. I try foa do dat regularly. Cuz I get so many emails dat I saving foa remind me of passwords, important emails, spesho kine emails from friends dat I like keep foa da dark days to remind me dat dey care. So I was being good girl. Backup, backup, backup. Just as I wen get ready, Outlook wen crash. I mean, mahkediedead kine crash. OMG.
Nomo my folders. Nomo my calendar. Nomo my address book. Nomo my inbox, deleted items, drafts. Notting. How empty can empty be? I tell you. Empty is EMPTY. Not even one tiny small kine uku [flea] in dea. Da proggy working. But all my emails… gone.
Da proggy stil working but. I could keep getting new emails. It jass wen send alla old ones to da great “How many times I wen tell u clean up dis inbox!” cemetery in cyberspace. Auwe!
I wen get dis message dat wen say Outlook get one fix kine proggy. Jass do dis, do dat. Insert da MS Office CD. I wen do dat.
But da puter no recognize da dang CD. So I wen try anodda one. Same ting.
Now, I realize dat Bill Gates dem like protect watevas watevas. Gotta have one CD per CPU. Oh no, muss not let da owner of two CPU’s oni get to use one CD… gotta make moa kala, right? I wen try anodda CD. Nope. “Please insert da Microsoft blah blah blah!”
I wen tell da computa, “Eh, I wen insert da dang CD! Assamatta u?”
I wen play around wit da “Import” button, and was able foa import one old, old backup of my folders. Like from 2002. I also wen get back some of my address book (da old one). But nomo calendar, nomo inbox, nomo recent folders, some of which had reeyo spesho kine stuffs in ’em.
K’den. I wen decide foa try backup some stuffs. But suddenly my external hard drive no get da green light on um. I wen check “My Computer” and shua enuf, da external hard drive no show up. So Nolemana wen do wat our guru, James, wen tell us to do: unplug da plug, plug um back in again. Shazam! On wen come da green light! Yay!
But I still no can find da “Outlook Make Um Moa Betta” [repair] file. So my friend Lurkah wen send um to me.
So I wen go back to my inbox. Pulled up da email from Lurkah. Den wen hit da “reply” button foa say mahalo to Lurkah, and wen start foa type. Hmmm… get something wrong. I could type, but nothing wen show up on da screen! No letters, no numbers. Clickity click wit da fingas. Nutting. Now wat?
I wen try again. Blank message.
Okay, when all else fails, reboot. I wen do dat. Still nutting. I wen reboot again.
Uh oh. Da DOS screen wen come up. Get one message on da screen dat wen say, “Eh, Mokihana! Assamatta u? Wea stay da keyboard, u lolo?”
True. DOS wen talk to me in pidgin.
And my computer no recognize dat I get one keyboard! Good ting I get one A/B switch dat takes me ova to da hana computa!
Ai yah! Lurkah wen IM wit me, trying foa solve da problem. So akamai him about computas. Mahalo, brah! Nutting wen work. Da lass step he wen suggest was try foa swap keyboards and see if dat works. No could tryum today cuz get too much hana, but we going try lataz.
I hope dat I can get dis tingie fixed. Cuz witout my Outlook folders, I stay in da dark. Alla emails from Ryan telling me how foa do dis blog (including da tree, Lika!) All my passwords. Etc.
Monday James going come ova. If he can restore my folders, den I going be one grateful wahine!