Da Sheep’s In Da Meadow, Da Cow Is Wea?

Eh, anybody rememba dis nursery rhyme?

“Litto Boy Blue, come blow yoa horn, da sheep’s in da meadow, da cow’s in da corn!”  

I nomo cow in da corn, but I get anodda cow story foa u.

Rememba dis post I wen rite lass April?  I think Damascus get some kine cow da kine oa something.

Da odda kakahiaka our field dogs, Puakea and Pikake, wuz barking up a storm.  Was not da usual “Eh, I stay bored so I going bark” barking.  Was ferocious kine, moa like, “Eh, wat da heck u stay doing in our territory?  U like beef oa wat?”  No pun intended.  Well, maybe small kine.

So I wen go outsai onto da lanai, and dis sight wen greet me; Pikake, oa maybe Puakea, going crazy barking at something.

Pikake barking at sometin.

But I no could tell what was.  A couple of minutes lataz, both doggies stay at da pasture gate, and I wen see dis big kine something by da puka tree.  I wen rub my eyes.  Nah, could not be dat.

So I wen get into my car, wit my camera, of course, and wen drive slow kine down da long driveway.  ‘Way down at da bottom, no can believe!!

Yep.  Dat is one cow.  Um.. one loose cow, in fact.  Now, like I wen say befoa, I can tell one kane cow from one  pīpī wahine, and dis one foa shua not da one wat wen get lost befoa.  Dis one anodda lost pipi!  In Damascus!  (I know, sounds moa exciting if I say “in Boring”.  But now we legally Damascus.]  Da cow stay walking right across our driveway in front of our “E Komo Mai” sign.  I guess wen take it literally, yeah?

She wen slowly holoholo away, me following her wit my camera.

Now we get small big kine pilikia.  Cuz dis pīpī belongs to somebody, but she get nomo ID collar.  Cuz she’s one cow, yeah?  Who gonna put one diamond ID collar on one cow?

She wen check out da bushes litto bit past da sign.  Nolemana wen try call our naybahs foa find out if dey knew whose cow was.

Da cow no stay in one hurry.  She muss be on Hawaiian time, yeah?  I wen start to call her Lani Moo, like da Meadow Gold pīpī wahine back home.

Just about dat time, my odda naybah, Judy, wen drive up in her pickup wit her papa-san.  She wen get out thinking she could put one rope on Lani Moo.

Unfortunately, Lani Moo no like da idea.

Judy wen walk afta Lani Moo chru yet anodda naybah’s yard, and finally wen manage to get da rope, which was her favorite fishing line, around da cow.

She wen tie da cow to one log while she wen race ova to anodda naybahs hale so he could kokua, cuz she thought was his cow.  Oni fair.

Lani Moo wen stand dea foa a minute, try foa decide wat she going do next.

But she no stay happy. She wen try foa walk away, dragging da log behind her.  I wen watch her, making shua dat she no get away oa broke da rope.

She no stay happy.

How pathetic is dis!

Judy wen come back and wen try lead da cow, but Lani Moo no like dat eeda.  Now rememba, dis is one cow. Much moa heavy den Judy oa me.  If she no like walk, den she no going walk!

So Judy, since da cow’s owner no stay yet (he was supposed to hurry ova on his motorcycle), wen get da idea of hitching da cow to da back of her pickup.  Anden she could force gently encourage Lani Moo to follow her.

Dis dis not appeal to da runaway cow.  She wen lower her head and make lidat.  But slowly she wen start to walk.

Was going pretty well, but I was thinking Judy stay going litto bit fast; even doe she was crawling along, Lani Moo stay having hard time keeping up.  Sam, da naybahs’ horse, stay running all ova wit excitement!

Da pīpī wen start to move moa and moa slow.  She wen dig in her back legs.  And oops!  Da wonderful fishing line wen broke!  Try look da dust behind da pickup… Judy wen slam on da brakes!

Score 1 for Lani Moo!  She wen casually walk ova to da blackberries as if nothing was wrong at all!  Da look on Judy’s face stay, “Ho, kill fight dis!”

Frustration foa Judy, triumph foa Lani Moo!

Judy wen move da pickup to da bottom of our pasture.  Nolemana and I wen come behind da cow an wen slowly shoo her down da road.  Sam stay so excited!  He wen run all ova, finally coming ova to sniff noses with Lani Moo while Judy and her papa-san wen wait in da pickup.  See da puka tree?

Lani Moo wen decide to holoholo down da road, slowly, in jass da direction Judy like her foa go.  Judy wen slowly herd da cow from insai da pickup.

Slow but shua, Lani Moo wen holoholo down da road, taking her sweet time, but still yet going in da right direction.

Down at da end of da gravel road, Lani Moo wen stop at da stop sign, den wen diligently look both ways on Sunshine Valley Road.  Good girl!

Den she wen amble onto Sunshine Valley Road, taking one left turn, cuz Judy stay herding her in da direction she sposed to go.  Oni one problem: she wen stop traffic!

Da wahine in da white car wen get out for give kokua.  We live out in da country, and dis is wat country naybahs do foa each odda.  But den Lani Moo wen decide she stay hungry, so wen cross da road foa munch da green grass.

Auwe! Dis cow causing so much pilikia!  Now she had foa get herded again! Judy wen block da road wit her pickup so Lani Moo no could holoholo da wrong way.  By dis time, anodda naybah wen stop foa kokua.  Da cow wen look around, as if to say, “Eh, who u tink u? Adunno if I like do wat u folks stay telling me what foa do!”

Da wahine wen try catch da cow, cuz still had one small piece of da rope still on her.  Da kane from da pickup wen go ova foa try kokua.

Now had dese two kind people trying foa help get Lani Moo down da road.  Judy stay following slowly in her pickup.

Judy slowly wen move up behind da cow, and da kane and wahine naybahs wen walk wit her.

Once again, Lani Moo wen decide she like eat instead of holoholo!

Da naybahs wen try foa encourage her to keep moving.  Lani Moo wen say, “Wat?  Bodda u?”

Da kane naybah wen shoo her away from da grass, da wahine naybah wen encourage Lani Moo to move, Judy wen follow close behind, and me?  I wen record da whole thing!

Finally, finally, Lani Moo wen decide to give up, and da lass I saw of dem, she was slowly going up da road exactly wea she supposed to be going.

Aloha spirit in da country; naybahs giving kokua to anodda naybah, nobody getting hūhū because of one delay. One stray pipi wahine, and one mini-roundup.

Oh God, I love it hea! Mahalo foa bless me lidis!

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This entry was posted in Da Kine: Sometimes Full-on Pidgin, Farm Stuffs. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Da Sheep’s In Da Meadow, Da Cow Is Wea?

  1. Islandhippo says:

    Wonderful story! I going show the boys when they wake up!

  2. Kikue Mugen says:

    Oh how I love the story! Really made me smile and bring back any kind memories wen I was growing up at the dairy. MoooooCow!

  3. Julie says:

    aloha spirit in da country indeed!
    love da story.
    Lucky dat naybahood get one local kine peech tayka, yeah?

  4. Clare Bear says:

    Wow! Wish my naybahs wuz dat nice. Dey grumble wen da ball goes ova da fence.

  5. Clare Bear says:

    Bryce said “Wow that’s a big cow!” Ethan asked if we could adopt it. Don’t think da naybahs would like it tho.

  6. Susie says:

    Mokihana,

    Oh how I’m probably completely torturing your beautiful language with my vague attempt to read your story. Thanks goodness for pictures!! Do you feel you have a special connection with the ol’ girl?

    Fun!
    LS

  7. AFK says:

    Pipi can be stubborn, but luckily yo naybahs wen help out. Wat happened to da naybah whose pipi dis was?

  8. Pingback: Mokihana's Garden » Blog Archive » Another Reason Why…

  9. Howzit, Moki. Dat wuz one funny story. Mahalo fo sharing!

  10. bonnie says:

    Love it when the cow goes “Wot? Bodda you?”

    at least she didn’t go “you like beef?”

  11. Pingback: Boring, Oregon, Ain’t So Boring. | A Mānoa Girl's Bloggie

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