Da Midnight Marauder

Tuesday nite, I was so tired!  Had been one busy, busy day, and when my head finally wen hit da pillow I was all ready foa one good night’s sleep.  Kukui, our Australian Shepherd, who sleeps next to my side of da bed, seemed kinda restless, but finally wen settle down next to me on da floor.  Blessed silence reigned.  Oa so I thought. I wen hea one kinda scratching noise.  It wen sound kinda like one big flying sometin caught between da window and da screen.  I stay so tired dat I was jass going ignore it.

But den my imagination wen decide foa go into full gear.  I knew wateva it was no was one B-52 cockroach, cuz we no gettum hea like back in Hawai‘i.  But I wen get visions of some kine flying tingie getting caught in my hair, den waking me up, wit resulting screams and flapping arms. 

So I wen decide foa get up and check.  I wen open da light.  Checked da window.  Nomo nuttin’ dea.  But still I wen hea da scratching sounds.  By dis time, Kukui stay pacing da floor, so I wen cross da hall an wen come in my office.  I wen open da outsai light, and dea, big as one dog, was one raccoon!! Da bugga stay eating all da bird seed in da feeder, and dat was making da scratching sound.

Kukui wen spock him an wen try leap chru da sliding door.  She stay barking like crazy.  Da raccoon wen give her stink eye and wen keep on eating da seeds! I knew I no could let Kukui out; raccoons stay mean and nasty when cornered and he could do plenny damage to my doggie. 

I wen open da sliding door (da screen stay closed) so dat raccoon could hea Kukui barking.  By dis time, Nolemana, who had been downstayahs, wen come up asking, “What’s going up up there?”  So I wen tell him about da raccoon.  (I shua wish I had thought to get out my camera!)

Da raccoon wen get tiyad of Kukui barking at him, an wen slowly holoholo down da deck, so Nolemana wen go outsai and stomp loud on da deck.  Da raccoon wen climb on tree in da forest.  Whew.  All is well.  Everybody happy, except dat raccoon.

I wen go moe again.  But about one hour lata, I wen hea da same noise again!  Confunnit!! By dis time was 1:30 a.m.!!  I wen go in da office again, an shua enuf, dea was dat confunnit raccoon!  Kukui stay barking, barking, begging me foa let her go outsai an get dat bugga.

Dis time da raccoon wen decide dat discretion was da betta part of valor, an wen amble down to da lanai.

Kukui wen keep patrolling around da sliding door in da bedroom, and finally, about 2 a.m, we wen manage to fall asleep.

Da raccoon neva wen show up again.  We wen bring da feeders insai at nite jass in case.  Let him go somewea else foa grind.  I need my sleep!

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5 Responses to Da Midnight Marauder

  1. Lika says:

    Eh raccoons can have rabis yeah.

  2. Mokihana says:

    Oh definitely. And dey can be really vicious when cornered or attacked.

  3. pehea 'oe says:

    haha. That’s one funny story. Glad all is well. Raccoons are funny little things. When I was little I volunteered for a place that would rehab animals. We would keep injured ones for showing in schools and get the other ones ready to go back to the wild. I had a couple of little raccoons for awhile, and they were crazy. They would run up the curtains and get into everything.

  4. Mokihana says:

    Wow! I volunteered for a wildlife rehab place too! For years I was mama to countless orphaned baby birds, including robins (my favorite), house finches, mockingbirds and once, even a loon (who swam in the bathtub for a couple of days!) It was so rewarding to me and I will never regret all the countless hours I spent feeding babies every 20 minutes!

    The release process was special… knowing they now had a chance where before they had none.

    Good for you for doing that kind of work… sounds like you enjoyed it!

  5. AFK says:

    Leo once saw two raccoons in the pine tree outside our bedroom window – it must have been in the middle of the night, but I can’t remember for sure. He has sensitive ears, so I think the sound of them scratching around and chittering woke him up. The most astonishing thing was we live four floors up, and they were at eye level to him! And we live in the middle of the city!

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